A little different…

Hello all my lovely followers,

I bow in apology that my blog posts came to a dramatic halt.

I finished my novel and faced the wrath of publishers who had no interest in it… hey ho.  I have self published it on Amazon, I only really did it as a hobbie although my dream of being a glamorous novelist sitting in a log cabin in Italy overlooking a lake with a glass of chilled rose still stands 😉

Today I wanted to post a little different as I am struggling to find a proper medium to express my feelings today so I thought I would take to my blog and release to my anonymous audience and get it off my chest. It is nothing to do with writing but once I finish here I will be settling down with my Fiction Learn free writing course.

Today was my date five years ago for an angel baby who was not to meet the world. I got to seven and a half weeks in my pregnancy and that was it no more baby. It feels like only yesterday that I realised my future I had planned in my head was gone , dissolved as if I had woken from a dream to live in a nightmare. I have since split from the father and he is happily married with a son. I in turn am sitting  childless waiting for an appointment to see a fertility specialist and trying not to turn an awful shade of green around the rest of my abundantly fertile friends and family who get pregnant as easy as getting a pint of milk from the store.

I have put a simple little tribute on Facebook x♡♡♡♡x to mark the occasion today but feel it inappropriate to post anything more out of respect to my lovely OH who is understanding but I don’t want to be grieving the loss of a child with another man publicly.

So here I would like to wish my beautiful angel a Happy 5th birthday and hope wherever you are you know mummy is thinking of you today and everyday xxx ♡

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