Magna Intuitum

Magna Intuitum

So in my ‘real’ job, I meet lots of interesting people who share their stories with me and I learn about their life’s in general. As I get to know them better and feel comfortable with them, I share anecdotes about my own life but nothing too personal just things I would put on my Facebook or right here on my blog.


I have one particular client I see weekly and we have got to know each other very well, the funny thing is I know her from my last job and I didn’t like her after she complained about me… water under the bridge 🙂

Well we discussed my writing and the fact a publisher has asked for the rest after I had sent them a sample (BIG MOMENT), she is also a writer with a published book and writes for her own online magazine to which her husband is an editor…


Now I am confident in my real job, but my writing not so much… so when her husband said his wife was reading an article about the benefits of massage for overall health, I immediately thought great he’s going to have a massage one day… well blow me down he asked me to become a regular writer on the magazine writing about my work and the benefits of the treatments… I was almost speechless. It is a non-paid gig but my writing and knowledge will be published and read by thousands… wow!!!


I got one like on Facebook for this bit of news and a ‘cool’ from my partner and brother but for all you fellow bloggers, writers, authors etc out there… have you any advice, any inspiring words or even a confirmation to say yes you are right to be excited here 🙂


My first offer for submission….HELP!!


Ok, so the book/novel/random pages of writing that hopefully resemble a story is finished…

I took a risk by sending a sample to just one publishing company, just for the laugh, just to see what might happen. I imagined it making it’s way cosily in to their inbox and then moving quite rapidly in to the recycle bin, in to the feared ‘slush pile’ never to be thought of again, just another failed attempt by a hopeless author with an impossible dream…

Well bugger me I’ve just received an email saying they want more…. they want the whole manuscript!!!

It is not an offer of publication but they want more… my writing sparked an interest… it effected someone who reads, what I’m guessing, hundreds of samples a day, mine stood out…

As proud of my little accomplishment that I am, that’s all I thought it would amount to… a few family members reading it, saying yes it’s good, I enjoyed it, then changing the subject rapidly when I ask what their favourite part was as they hadn’t yet got that far as it had bored them to giving up any hope of polite obligation.

So now what do I do?

I have got in touch with a proof reader who charges $1 per 400 words as I do not want to taint my changes giving them a self-edited pile of trash…

Can anyone recommend another proof reader or any tips on how to proceed before I pack my precious achievement off to be critiqued and  hopefully put in to the published hall of achievement?


The book is finished.

It’s such a relief and an amazing feeling to have finally completed it.

Now the hard stuff starts…. I have to get it out to the world. Where do I start?

There is a gold mine of information, advise, publishing routes and information. But as a rookie writer and publisher I haven’t the first clue where to begin…

I’ve seen talk of manuscripts, slush piles, create space, lighteningsource and Kindle publishing.

Any golden nuggets of advice and success stories would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any comments…

The Importance of Research

I am having what you would call an understatement of a lazy day!

Woke at 11 stayed in bed until 3 and then rose with the intention of doing much needed housework… I tidied my bedroom made my way to the kitchen where I flicked the kettle on to prepare breakfast/lunch/brunch and sat to eat and picked up Russell Howards Booky Wook as I am no longer able to stare in to space, I have to have something taking my attention… a possible reason for my insomnia.

5 pages in, I immediately get the urge to get back to my own book.

Because of the excellent writing?

Something he said triggered a light bulb effect of inspiration?

Or a line that showed complete and utter lack of research and just another ploy for celebrities to make more money from their fan fare, not worried about such an important thing as detail!

“I’m a bloke from Grays with a good job and a terrific haircut who’s been given a Wonka Ticket to a lovely sex factory ‘cos of the ol fame’ and while Augustus Gloop drowns and Veruca Salt turns blue I’m cleaning up. I’m rinsin’ baby”

Any Roald Dahl, Gene Wilder (I googled that as I wasn’t sure took two minutes!) or Johnny Depp fans will be hopefully as I was in utter disgust as this error.

If you are going to use a children’s classic to make your point, at least get the characters right.

It was in fact Violet Beauregarde who turned purple.

I’m guessing in all his eagerness to get his book out on the shelf to outshine the hard work and dedication of us true authors who take the time to research and make sure we are grammatically and factually correct, a little thing like going on to google was at the back of his mind.

I am now more determined to get my book out there that I have slaved over for a year… checked the facts, edited, re-edited and edited again. Whether I will continue to read this lackadaisical attempt at writing remains to be seen but I will be taking extra time to research, research research!!!!!! 

Morbid but a thought provoker…

Everything happens for a reason!
How many times have we all heard this?
Break up, missed out on a job, car broke down, missed bus/train/plane?
I’ve been told this by a clairvoyant and she says it takes a while, maybe years to see but then one day it will all make sense..
Now I have lost some very special people in my life and it still isn’t fair and I see no reason for it BUT I do think they tried to open my eyes and fix my life to get on the right track… this has just occured to me this second.
Summer 2003: first boyfriend, very exciting and nerve wracking time. Introduced him to the family all is good. Summer 2005 my uncle of 45 years old is winding me up saying I should stay away from my boyfriend I was worth ten of him… he was one for banter and pulling peoples legs, I also was only half listening because I was making sure my boyfriend was staying away from lets call her Shirley as I had the suspicion he’d cheated on me with her and she was always trying to get up on him like a dog on a bitch… but he’d never admit it and I was a naive 17 year old.
6 days later my beloved uncle passed away. I still to this day regret not paying him the respect to have a proper conversation with him and listen to the warning he was giving me while he had the chance!
He was missing for 9 torturous days and I was a wreck but my boyfriend was my rock although didn’t understand my need to be sitting on a beach from break of dawn to dusk waiting for him to come home, something we argued about incessantly but when I needed him he was there.
Then came the day my uncle was found and he was taken from the lifeboat in a coffin, all my family and myself included are hoping to wake up from this nightmare.. my boyfriend is holding me up for the weight of the grief causes my knees to buckle… what can be going through your head at such a time when a loved one is in such agony?
What was going through my boyfriends head was… I would like to be an undertaker what a cool job…. (I know right?) When he told me this was why he was, a few months later looking up funeral directors courses I was in awe and disbelief how a person could detatch themselves from that situation to that extent! So I supported him fully in his decision proud of what he was doing for grieving families but still wary of what had brought on the idea and at the time it had.
He went away for months of work experience, about 10 months in to the course and we split up. He said he didn’t love me anymore and I was deveastated beyond words.
What drove the knife in further was his work experience was in the same place Shirley lived and they had got back in touch. He denyed any relationship saying they were ‘just friends’…
After two months he came crawling and begging me to take him back and admitted much to my disgust that he had kissed Shirley and that had made him realise he wanted me and no one else forever more!
Now whether it was an ego boost or a band aid over the wound.. I agreed! We were together happily for another two years in which I got pregnant, unfortunately I was one of the unlucky 25% and it wasn’t to be but during scans a cyst was found and removed from my ovary, a blessing in disguise and my baby in heaven is my guardian angel.
Then he got offered a job which meant a relocation, which I was fine with, ever the supportive girlfriend and always up for a new adventure. 
In June 2010 I received a text from my mum that I never expected, a good friend from school had died. I was again deveastated and immediately made arrangements with work to go home for the funeral in another country.
He was somewhat less than impressed as I had given my weekend off away to say goodbye to my dear friend and I got the silent treatment for it.
The funeral day was as trying as you can imagine and I spent the day reminiscing with my school friends and I left my closest and best friend crying asking me to stay as he couldn’t handle the grief alone. I boarded the ferry with a heavy heart and enormous guilt at leaving my friend behind but with a promise to call him every day. As I sat remembering the day and my friend, I couldn’t help but cry and reached for my phone to speak to my boyfriend.  I was answered with a very formal ‘hello’ I said ‘hi where are you?’ Thinking maybe he was with a client and was interrupting hence the tone. I was answered with, ‘I’m at home but I’m a bit busy with company at the moment I’ll have to call you back’
I said ‘who is company?’
‘Claire, but she’s just leaving,  gotta go’ dial tone!
Now Claire had been described to me as an overweight 30 something year old who was constantly complimenting him on his looks and had also added him to her ‘list’ but I wasn’t to worry because she was 30 odd and overweight. ..
So what the hell was she doing in my house and why as a fellow funeral director wouldn’t she understand that her colleagues girlfriend needed emotional support after a loss of a friend not to be hung up on in favour of her company! 
I don’t think I need to tell you what happened when he called back but I got some stares from fellow passengers lets put it that way… what was worse is she knew I was away so decided to pop in for a cuppa… mmm…
Now I hadn’t mentioned before just what I had to do to make the funeral. ..
I woke at 8.15 Wednesday morning went to work then came home had dinner and prepared for the dreaded journey. .. got a 3 hour train ride to the ferry and then tok a four hour boat ride arrived in Ireland at 6am Thursday morning,  had a cup of tea with my family not allowing anytime for caught up sleep as before I knew it, it was time to get ready. .. I spent the day as I said previously.  Hope to get some kip on the ferry home was quickly dashed by the adrenaline from my rising temper .
When I arrived in the harbour I realised my train would arrive in the main station an hour and a half earlier than my train home leaving me sitting in an empty station at 5 in the morning  unless my boyfriend would come get me,seen as I hadn’t seen bed in over 43 hours and it was going to be 7.30am Friday before I would, unless he drove 10 mins to come and get me considering I was due in work at 10.30am Friday I didn’t think therecwas much in the decision. No it was imossible because he too had work so would rather sleep cosy in bed and leave me freeze on a train platform for hours than take 30 mins out of his beauty sleep (why didn’t I turf his ass out I hear you say?)
Things were a little rocky from then it has to be said…
September 2010 I receive a call in work, another uncle has passed in the exact same manner and place as my uncle before!
Another mad dash home for a funeral and I don’t care what he is doing, I don’t care about work I am gone.. I received the call at 11.15, I am 2 and a 1/2 hours drive away from the ferry. .. I’m on it by 1.30!
He suprises me… he’s on the next ferry over to be there for me in my hour of need! Making up for a few months ago I think to myself…
It’s all a bit surreal and hazy. De ja vu and no one can quite believe we’re here again. Everyone comments on how marvellous he is being, but then that’s what he’s trained to do!
November 2010 he comes home with a bombshell… he’s cheated! Slept with someone who works in the crematorium… how creepy….
That does it… I’m gone out the door never looking back. I to this day haven’t seen him since!
One night about a year later, I’m bored so I peruse the Internet and hack his Facebook just to see what other lies he told me just for closure and pure curiosity….
Guess who he’s been in touch with despite being engaged now to Crem slut… Shirley!  Oh and here’s the kicker. .. when they were meeting up as ‘just friends’ he was actually going out with her after splitting from me AFTER cheating on me with her!!!
Well you can again imagine my annoyance and pure disbelief!

Now your probably sitting here thinking I thought this was a philosophical blog post not some boo-hoo about an ill fated relationship. ..
Well lets map it out shall we?
2005 the idea comes in to his head to be an undertaker in the presence of my beloved uncles corpse just resumed from the sea… work experience for said job led to cheating and should have marked the end of our relationship (my dear uncle would be pleased) but it didn’t something brought us back together… I then got pregnant and a cyst was discovered…(maybe my uncle, maybe my nan who knows?)
2010 My dear friend passes and events occur from that, that should have had me running for the hills (I didn’t see what my lovely friend was pointing out to me so clearly)
Then my other uncle gets up there, they must have all had a chin wag and would you believe it, he slept with Crem slut on Halloween (the night of the dead) need I say more?
I truly believe that those close to me tried to show me the way and tried to arrange things to happen so I’d be led on the right path. It just suddenly occured to me tonight that the day my uncle was pulled from the sea he planted a seed that would prove him evidently right in the end. He always had to be right and the rest that followed has all interlinked!
Now that I was a single gal obviously I was keeping a keen eye out for my next beau and I seen someone that I thought was quite nice. I  hadvnever spoken to him just watched from afar…
Then one night while out with a friend we got chatting and he later added me on Facebook but nothing came of it…
April 2012 another dear uncle passes and my family are over with me to collect his remains.  My mum is on a man huntfor me but nobody catches my eye even from the twenty odd she points out… after having it all day and exhausted from yet more grief all I want to do is go home to bed BUT my aunty begs me to pop in for a drink…so I do. The first person I see is the guy I have my eye on and we say a polite hello but speak no more.
I’m here to support my aunt and mum after the loss of their brother so I sit at the bar and secretly point him out to mum who is less than impressed with my choice but I still sit and take a few sneaky peeks.
The next day my family travel home and I dread being left alone so I travel to my friend who I mentioned earlier who I had left grief stricken. We have a few drinks and I pluck up the courage to message the guy… a year and a half on we are living together and planning a family… yet again my higher forces are at work and my dear old uncles can’t help but meddle just a little 😉

A picture paints a thousand words

Ok so it wasn’t a picture but a song that formed a picture in my head…
Lily Allen ‘Somewhere only we know’
The John Lewis Christmas ad… at first it was the usual that’s sweet, it’s Christmas,  it’s coming whether we like it or not and another clever marketing ploy by a retail chain to get us to part with our hard earned cash in their store.
But the song played is now a chart topper and is invading our airwaves like flu germs on a bus…
I’m the type of person who has to find meaning in a song in order to like it… hence why when ‘What does the fox say’ was all over Facebook I had no clue what was going on until yesterday when it was played in the top forty charts!
So driving home today, the song came on and I actually like it, it has meaning,  so I turned up the volume and really listened, I have heard it is making people cry, making people excited for Christmas and reconfirming their love for animals…
For me? It made me push my foot down and race up to complete my final chapter of my book… I still have three or four chapters left to write to tie it all together but I was just overwhelmed with this eureka moment and I properly felt like an author as rather that relating the song to my own life, I thought of my characters and I got so excited at the thought of my readers face when they read that chapter. It also gave me a kick to get it finished before Christmas so it’s still relevant in peoples minds 😉

The importance of Reading…

It is a sad and horrible fact that reading is a dying hobby…
How many children do you see in libraries? 
How many on public transport or coming around to the house have a book under their arm to ‘keep them entertained’?
All you see now is kids with ipads and phones from the age of 5 upwards I hear of kids having tablets for Christmas. .. I don’t even have a tablet at 26!
I have a laptop I got for Christmas four years ago that is a bit slow and behind the times but it works and if its not broke…
I had a little mention on the radio the other day after seeing they had posted a status up ‘only 27% of children do this because they actually enjoy it! What is it?’ Immediately I thought reading and commented and had a congratulations from the dj about half an hour later live on air for getting it right.
I did a little victory dance but then was saddened by the thought. What a terrible time to be going in to writing… penning a novel that’s going to go in to the wide expanse of literature that may be read by a few but then it’ll slowly fade and hit the 1p shelf on Kindle.
Which brings me to my next point. .. books!
Are they too going to become a dying concept? 
In twenty years time is my child going to come to me and ask ‘what is this?’ holding a book out like a foreign object as a young child would do now with a vinyl record?
I think all this was brewing in my head and I suddenly had a very strong urge to read a Roald Dahl book so (and I will hold my hand up I did commit the crime) I went on to kindle and downloaded Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but as I lay reading it, I think it triggered my biological clock as I suddenly was overwhelmed with a funny maternal instinct.
I turned to my partner and said our child will not be brought up playing with a tablet or a mobile phone, they will have real toys and they will be read bedtime stories from a real book every night and he just looked back quite puzzled at the outburst and agreed.
I had this sudden flashback of memories of being read the lion, the witch and the wardrobe still to this day one of my favourite stories. 
Reading Goldilocks, Enid Blyton ‘Oh dear Mr Tiddle’ and Goosebumps, ‘Be careful what you wish for’ at night in bed.
Traipsing back and forth to the school library when I finished my book to get a new one.
Getting so excited going in to a bookshop to buy a new book.
As much as I tried I cannot remember what instilled such a passion for reading but apparently I started at the tender age of 3…
I cannot imagine a child of mine not sharing the same passion and love for reading as I have.
It makes me shudder to think of my children not knowing the excitement and thrill of sitting down and reading and rereading a fairytale. Yes they can watch the dvd… but they’ll hear the real story first.
Soceity may be ruining a lot of things… the need for good manners, the want to help your fellow man, the desire to stop and take note of the beautiful planet we live in but one thing I hope is that in this day of progressing technology and the people that are working on ‘what can we improve next…’ leave the book alone. It is precious and should not be tampered with.
Yes the kindle and others like it have their pros and place BUT I think we need to keep some good old fashioned tradition going and reading children a bedtime story, tucking them up with full imaginations as they dream rather than what app will they download next should be top of the list! !

Off the topic of writing… weird experience

I just had the oddest experience. .. I was just finished with a client and had 45 minutes to get to somewhere an hour away… not with a client luckily. .. and I was due to pick someone up also. I webt to get my phone and it wasn’t there… I NEVER leave my phone at home… that and my diary are like extra limbs how could I have forgotten it so I had to drive 10 minutes out of my way to go and get it making me even later. I found my phone under a jumper even though I was sure I’d put it in my bag…
I sped off up the road after letting the person know I was coming and then got stuck behind an OAP bus going 20 miles an hour… and the back doors were creating a glare from my headlights whuch was effecting my vision. I couldn’t get on to facebook to let everyone know I qas going to be very very late then when I got to a crossroads I seen the bus was going the direction I was and I had this overwhelming feeling of turn the other wau so I did and I was just blatantly I’m not going. I pulled over to consider for a minute and had a dull ache in my head as if I had banged it like I would in a crash it was so weird..
Then I sent my messages and headed to my gdads but I passed the fuel garage where I seen my partners cousin who I knew he’d been out with so I thought I’ll go home and ley him know I’m ok just as I thought it he text me making sure I was ok…. he’s had a bad feeling about it all along… oh and my petrol light came on

Talk about the universe not letting me go… home now and not moving!

“I may be surpr…

“I may be surprised. But I don’t think I will be.”
― Andrew Strauss

This has happened!

I am currently writing a book that is complete fiction, but does resemble some things that have happened in my own life and have taken some life experience and twisted it in to the plot.

Due to work commitments and complete writers/laptop block, I had left said story 23 chapters in and my characters frozen in time waiting for their fictional life to be finished back in May. But before I had done this I had written a chapter predicting something that was going to happen in my own life.

I knew it was coming, I knew I was going to hear about it and when it did I would not be surprised. 

This was clearly playing on my mind as I had wrote this chapter back in April. Now I am cursing my writers block and lack of commitment to the tale as I have since learned what I thought was coming has come in the same circumstance as what I have written… Now I know people close to me are going to read the book and say ‘oh she wrote that when she found out about….’

Nope I didn’t.

I merely predicted it and alas it has come true before I could put in print.

Writers block has a lot to answer for. 

Laptop block…

Well hello my keen followers 🙂


No I haven’t fallen off the planet… or set off with all good intentions of becoming an author and then dropping it like a hot rock the minute I see something shiny… 🙂

I have been looking at my laptop for the past few weeks with pure resentment and loathing… I have all this words in my head, a complete book just begging to be finished, my characters are frozen in time wanting to move ahead, get on with where they need to be but I just can’t seem to motivate myself to sit down and type.


I have a full interest in the writing, I want to get it done, I love the story just I have discovered I have laptop block….




Yes Laptop block…

The thought of sitting aimlessly at my laptop typing typing typing was what was preventing me from doing it. Reformatting… realizing my computer thinks it’d be funny while I’m in full flow typing not looking at the screen… (I’m not a good typist I need to look at what my fingers are doing which might be half the problem)… it decides to jump five or six paragraphs in to the middle of a sentence and carry on there so I look at all I’ve just typed and it’s not where it should be… 


Then we have the dreaded caps lock button… I’m doing my capitals and punctuation as I’m typing… I have to I’m anal like that…. but then i look at my screen and have done two to three sentences in capitals…. when are they going to make it so you can just highlight and make letters lower case so you don’t have to retype THE whole sentence.

I also have a habit of rereading over what I’ve written and keep editing where as I need to just get it written and then that sense of accomplishment will further motivate me to edit and finalize it ready to send off to publishers and look into self publishing while I wait eagerly for a reply…. can I do that?

So I have found a solution to my Laptop block… I will physically write it…


Yes I’m putting pen to paper just as shakespeare did…


I can then transfer my writing to the laptop, watching tv, listening to music, etc… all the concentration will be put in already the story will be written.

Also I don’t have the distraction on an A4 pad of oohh.. what’s going on on Facebook or lets look on Google for a bit of research and then get distracted and realize an hour later I’m supposed to be writing…


Will it work? Watch this space….. 😦