“Come on, let your colours burst
Make ’em go, “Aah, aah, aah”
You’re gonna leave ’em all in awe, awe, awe”
Katy Perrys song Firework came out at a time when I was restarting after being ditched by a cheating ex while he went on to munch on greener pastures…
Rather than being a screwed up mess sitting in a dark room reading ‘The Bell Jar’ I decided to start living. I no longer had to worry about what I looked like, how I dressed, what I ate, what I said. I could be me again. I lost weight, I partied hard, worked hard and had a ball and whenever I would hear this song I would dance my little ass off and directed it at the people who were waiting for me to crumble in to self pity.
Now I am a self employed mobile Beauty Therapist with my very own little business, I have a novel being reviewed by a publisher and I have just had a message from an editor of a magazine who should be enjoying the sun rays in Mexico instead of texting a little old amateur in Wales, asking if I was still up for writing an article for them.
Now this is not a look at me, how well I’m doing post its’s more a motivational post.
I have always been an avid reader and loved writing stories, the more imaginative the better.
I will never forget the day I was in primary school, I’m guessing 10 or 11 years of age and I was asked to write a piece about a monastery. So I let my creative juices flow thinking this will set my piece of writing apart from the rest of the class, so rather than saying, There is a place called Clonmacnoise. It is old. It was built by the Vikings yadayadayada… I decided to tell it as a story so I started with ‘Once upon a time on a great big hill there was a monastery… now I don’t remember the rest because as I eagerly had started to read out my piece my teacher at snatched it from me, read it out in a sarky tone, got my whole class to laugh at me for my stupidity and I was told to re-write it all again… I was humiliated. Funnily enough the next year we had to retell the story of ‘The Hungry Caterpillar’ and I got top marks… same teacher!
Now all she probably remember me as the quivering little child who wouldn’t say boo to a goose and cried when she was shouted at for not being able to get her head around basic Math but I will always remember the teacher who tried to put me down and my dreams of becoming an author.
When I got to High school, I was set free, I was allowed to be as creative as I liked and English was my favourite subject, so much so I thought of Journalism as a career but as a person who likes to be liked I opted out.
Then as it does young love intervened and partying, late nights and lazy days overcame me. I still read but lost my imaginative streak and the guy I was with always poked fun at my attempt at humour and constantly reminded me I wasn’t funny and had no common sense. I was book smart and could only regurgitate what I had learnt or been shown…
Seven years later I was a free independent woman and did I enjoy it. I made the concious decision to let others words and thoughts effect me and anyone who tried was immediately was cut from my life never to return and their absence is only marked by the success I have achieved from it.
So the point… I do have one I promise… is look back to your dreams as a child? Have you accomplished them? They may have seemed impossible to the adults around you but why should they be? The innocence of a child saying ‘I want to be a princess when I’m older’. Well why not? You want to be a princess, be a princess, wear a tiara, wear a pretty frock, who’s going to stop you? As long as you don’t try to jump the wall of Windsor Castle no one can touch you or your dreams!!
Shrug off the criticisms, constant let downs and focus on you and your wants, you don’t have a right over anyone’s just as much as they don’t over yours!!
P.S As a child, I wanted to be an author and a hairdresser… I nearly made it 🙂